Wednesday August 12th, evening

I’m back in ICU. I immediately ask for food. I’ve had enough of this not eating thing.

I’m allowed to have food but I’m not allowed to sit up for four hours.

Well, that doesn’t help.

So I’m on my back for four hours and wish the TV screen was on the ceiling. The time finally passes and I try to sit up.

Holy shit! The hospital must be sliding down Lake Boone Trail. I grab the side of the hospital bed to make sure I don’t roll off.

Everything is on a slant.

I know my eyes are lying but perception is reality.

I quickly bring the bed back down to a lower incline and shut my eyes.

Adam arrives with Bella Monica. My hero. Foooooooood. Finally. The hospital staff jokes that they need to sample all food before given to patients. I delight in the global love for that restaurant!

Eating means sitting up and I’m not too thrilled about the possibility of the hospital sliding any further down Lake Boone Trail. But, it’s Bella Monica so I take the risk.

Adam feeds me. I’m sure there is sauce all over my face but I couldn’t care less. I’m already in a place where I can’t pee alone so getting help eating is no big deal.

Fooooooooood. So good.

Teri arrives and informs me that my mother has been informed. I look at my phone. Six missed calls. Yep, she’s got the news.

The "unofficial" results from the angiogram are in.

The worst of possibilities have been ruled out.

This is the “Everything is going to be OK” moment.

Color finally return to Teri’s face. Calls are made and I’m glad to give some sense of relief to the folks who are going through this with me.

I should feel relieved too. I don't.

Perhaps this good news longer term prognosis doesn’t resonate with me in light of how I feel at the moment (so, so woozy). I don’t know. I think I’ve been doing a good job of not letting the possibilities scare me until I’ve got more information. I’m either been very optimistic or in denial.

Probably both.