I thought I was attached to a piece of plywood. And I was stuck underneath four rungs. I got out from one of the rungs and then I thought to myself "I have to do this three more times?"
And then I realized that I was not attached to piece of plywood but actually in the hospital. I hear the voices of friends but I have no visual memory of the time right after I woke up. It's also entirely possible that my eyes were closed.
I wonder if I'm okay. I'm awake but I was told I could emerge a little messed up in terms of walking, talking and thinking for a few days after surgery. Before surgery I asked if they could guarantee anything in terms of how I would feel when I woke up. After a bit of negotiation they guaranteed I would have a sore throat because of the intubation.
My throat is sore. Sweet!
And, I am really fucking thirsty.
"I want water"
"Take little sips"
Sip, sip. Water has never been so awesome.
I take a huge sip. GULP.
And there goes the straw.
"Please! Water. What do I have to do for water? Ask me a question. I'm Jamie. I'm in Duke Hospital. On the eighth floor. Obama is the President. I want water. I promise I won't take a big sip."
They let me sip water from a teeny tiny sponge on a stick.
"Am I peeing? I feel like I'm peeing, but I feel like I'm not peeing. The boys in the room need to leave. I'm too classy to pee in front of men."
"Can I get more water?"