I would rather wake up on fire than not sleep."

My trip to CMH this week involved a red-eye, sleeping on the floor of a very cold CLT and arriving to a hotel with no heat or hot water. And snow. I did a really mediocre job of packing so outfit-fit-wise, both outerwear and inner-wear, well, it wasn't a banner week.

These trips make arriving home all the sweeter. Unless or course, arrival home includes a chirping smoke alarm. After midnight. No biggie, methinks. I'll just remove the battery.

Turns out to be a bit of a biggie.

First challenge is reaching the smoke alarm. This involves balancing a footstool on a chair. Precarious, indeed. I cam touch the smoke alarm but having enough stability and grip to get it open, not so easy. I twist, push, pull and turn and finally get the damn cover off the smoke alarm.

Mind you, as I'm doing this, the thing is still chirping. The intervals are just long enough where you think it might have stopped and just as I settle into the silence it chirps again which is extremely irritating (and I'm irritable to begin with, in the best of circumstances, mind you).

I break a nail getting the battery cover off and chip another getting the battery out. With battery in hand I think I've won the battle. Take that device. As soon as I have both feet on the ground and footstool off of chair the f'ing think chirps again. This is unbelievable.

I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. The alarm is hanging from some wires. I consider just chopping them off but this device has such a strong desire to chirp I imagine the smoke alarm on the counter still chirping, growing arms and legs and going into the fridge to grab some of my Ginger Ale. And then there's always fear of electrocution.

Smoke Alarm: 1. Jamie: 0.

I send an e-mail to the apartment people requesting this gets fixed, look up "noise canceling headphones" on Amazon, take an Ambien and sleep. Sorta.

The next day (technically later that day)

I arrive home kinda grumpy. Tired.

The smoke alarm chirps.

I lose it.

Seriously. There are tears. And then there is a phone call to the leasing office. I indicate this is an emergency and I'm going to check into a hotel and deduct it from the rent. I can't not sleep tonight.

Fortunately, the maintenance guy is still there. He arrives at my door with a ladder and battery. I'm still kinda cranky and teary - I'm not a happy tired person. The poor guy was standing right in front of the Jamie train and I tell him way more than he wanted to know about not getting enough sleep, more nights in the Hyatt than my own bed, the red-eye, etc.

He very reluctantly shows me the breaker for the smoke alarm but says "You really shouldn't do that" to which I respond "I would rather wake up on fire than not sleep."