Horse on the Loose

The drama doesn't stop on the farm. Ever.

So Ellen says "I'm going to put the goats back in the main pasture with the horses. Wanna come?".

"Sure," I say, "Let me put on a bra."
(I am still in my pajamas).

Ellen is convinced the goats will just follow her to the pasture, as they did last time they got loose. They have gotten feistier since that time. I bring a box of Grape Nuts to shake and that works reasonably well.

We lead the goats to the pasture with the horses (And, listen, there's the soundtrack to "Brokeback Mountain" playing in the background).

So the goats in are in but whhhhhooooaaa the horse is out. Worthy bolts. Jamie bolts. Jamie (stupidly) grabs Worthy's tail to stop Worthy from running across the road. Worthy starts to gallop. Jamie starts to gallop. Traffic is stopped in both directions.

I am holding the horses tail and running like I have never run. This is the stuff of a Nike TV spot. But the horse is too fast and I am close to being dragged (it's surprising I wasn't kicked, in retrospect) so I let go and keep running. Then it occurs to me that chasing the horse is not going to help. He is faster and bigger than me.

I stop running. Worthty stops running.

A woman in her Mini pulls up and says "Is that your horse?"

"Yes!" I say "Well, no" I am still in panic mode "It's our landlord's horse."

The woman, Lynn, lives around the corner so she takes her Mini at 90 mph a la the Italian Job and gets some food and a harness.

Meanwhile, Ellen has called the landlord.

Lynn returns. Gina the landlord arrives. We get the harness on Worthy and return him to the pasture.

But Zsa Zsa is loose. Oh boy. It never ends.

Good thing I put on that bra.