Who named this stupid race?

I registered for "Little Uno Big Deuce"
It's a swim race.
You can swim one mile or two. Little One. Big Two.
The dumb ass name of the race almost made me register for two.

Instead, I swam two at the pool.
That's the first time I've ever cared that there's a lifeguard.
Who wasn't 14 and reading People magazine.