"I feel like such as asshole for crying over an asshole like you"

On Feb 6th, 2006 I interviewed with a "Rod Brown" at McKinney. I had no idea his title or department and he kind of looked like he could be in IT. Given how many people I had to interview with for this position nothing would have surprised me.

This Rod fellow wanted to take a walk. So, we did. I was wearing dress up a clothes and heels and negotiating the stepping stones of the "river" through the American Tobacco Campus was a touch challenging. Then, this Rod fellow decided we should sit. On a brick wall that was about 2 feet off the ground. Easy for a short guy wearing pants. Not so easy for a tall woman wearing a skirt. Rod had interesting questions but I thought he was a bit odd.

When McK made the offer I was under the impression there were two possible spots for me and I delicately expressed a preference for the one not on Rod's team (I don't remember how I expressed it but it wasn't "That Rod guy is weird" - mind you.

For most of my McKinney career, Rod was my manager.

He is also friend. And he's "good people" through and through. I could fill pages with Rod stories and I just might tell a few stories later. For now, let's fast forward.

Rod left McKinney at the end of March 2011. There was a little "roast" for him on his last day. Much to my surprise I got a little teary (I wasn't the only one).

After the little gathering I full on cried.

I went into Rod's office, still sobbing and said "I feel like such an asshole for crying over an asshole like you." And we hugged.

Rod was part of the heart of my McKinney. I miss that grump.

Pseudepigrapha

Attended a reading and talk at UNC with Bart Ehrman.

Foehl, like a baby horse.

This is how I spell my last name
"F as in Frank, O-E-H-L.  Like a baby horse."  Today, Foehl meets a foal.

 My Little Pony.  No pink plastic.  This is the real deal.

What's with the look?  It's 1923 and I'm at Dog and Pony Show.

 I'll leave it at that.  For now.  In mid-May, this will make more sense.

Blindness

Another one of upbeat Netflix pics. 

Incidentally, a few hours after I watched this movie I danced with a blind lead.  It wasn't very different from dancing with a sighted lead, but inspiring nonetheless.

I often dance with my eyes closed (hardly comparable to being blind, I know).  Most of the information I need from my lead is through feel - not visual.  Closing my eyes helps me focus.

Nastar Nascar

I have friends skiing in Alta this week.  When they relay the "ski report" I have repeatedly mistaken "NASTAR" for "NASCAR." 

I've been in North Carolina too long.

Tried out some science fiction

Professional Professing in Greensboro

I guest lectured at A&T today.  

On February 1,1960  four A&T freshman went to a segregated Woolworth's lunch counter and ordered coffee.  On July 25th, the order arrived.  The next day, the entire Woolworth's chain was desegregated. 

Death By Jump Rope And Then Pull ups and Sand Bags

I've been doing CrossFit for about three weeks now and feeling it.

One popular CrossFit move is a double under. It's jump roping except the rope goes under you twice before you jump. Like this:

I am afraid of being anywhere near someone doing a double under.  Listen to the sound of that rope.

(if you are viewing this via Facebook, please "view original post" to see videos)

On the rare occasions I've jumped rope I typically jump twice. I don't think that's the "opposite" of a double under but I'm going to have to jump much higher and much spin faster (that's all in the wrists).  Easier said than done:

The "ah!" was because I tripped myself with the jump rope. I think it might have been caught between my toes (wearing Vibrams). Barefoot Double Unders. Oh, my poor calves. This is Thursday.

Crossfit involves a "WOD" (Workout Of The Day). On Friday, day after jump rope, the WOD was affectionately called "Death by Pull Up." In the first minute you do one pull up, the second minute two, and you work up as far as you can but then you have to work down (meaning, if I can't do seven pull ups in the seventh minute then the next round I do six pull ups, then five and so on). With the assistance of a band (an elastic band, not music from my i-Pod) I "died" at seven as per my example.

The next morning when I woke up my arms did not seem to hang straight down by my side. I opted not to go swing dancing that night although given that one's arm is rarely (ever?) supposed to be fully extended I wondered if this might help my form. The possibility of yelping out in pain during the first swing out kept me home that Saturday night (I did go dancing a few days latter and found myself grimacing every time my arms went over my head.  Sorry leads).

Monday's WOD involved holding a sand bag over your head and walking uphill 100 meters, doing 35 squats (with sandbag, though it can "rest" on your shoulders) and then walking downhill, doing 35 squats. Twice (some WOD's are "Do this much exercise, report how long it takes" versus "You have this much time, how many rounds can you do?). WOD's like the former will make me late for work.

He's got the whole world in his hands. OK, maybe just Hollywood.

We're all in our thirties but we're still "the kids."

Looks Like A Shoe, Feels Like A Shoe.

To hell with the heels.

2 resolutions in 3 days

I made a few resolutions at the start of 2011.  Checked off two of them in the past three days.

 Enter a Novice Jack & Jill Why not?
I entered a first timer's contest - not Jack & Jill format but same difference.  We placed last but probably had the most fun (and, I met my lead the day before the contest and decided to enter with him about 45 minutes before the competition).  And, we weren't unanimously last - 5 judges - three of them put us in 4th place but two of them put us in 3rd place.  Really, entering it and just doing it was a big win for me.

I worked in "high-five" to one of the judges (Falty) during the dance.  Clips to follow but for now, a screen grab.

Ski

West Coast Pops

If there had been a "Smiley" Award, I would have won it.

I also would have won the "Stiff Shoulders" contest.
But alas, it was a dance contest.

Note that I cut the video right as we move into Charleston. In different directions.

Adam, on the other hand, made it to the Jack and Jill and Balboa Finals.

Total fail when Jack tried to throw Jill around the world. Really funny though. But again, these contests are not about funny or smiley. Second in the Bal competition. It was a bit of a dark horse win. Have those smooth moves been kept under wraps?

Inspriration Weekend Contest - Funny Clips

If you're looking at this as a note on Facebook you'll have to click on the original post to see the videos

Giving a judge a high five

And a little wave goodbye too.

Just watch the back of the head of the judge. He's laughing as we pass by. We're funny and jumpy and are traveling like ballroom dancers. We're having a great time and are laughing too.


If you're looking at this as a note on Facebook you'll have to click on the original post to see the videos.

What's with the tilt? Where we in the midst of an earthquake?

If that really was the case then let's keep dancing.

CrossFitting

One of my 2011 New Year's resolutions was not to lose any weight but to gain muscle, tone & definition.  I think I've found a way to achieve this resolution - CrossFit - a workout program that really jives with my own personal philosophies about wellness.  I'm most intrigued by the variation, focus on movements and the "groupness" of it.  Folks motivate each other and compete.  The coaches push.  I took me a while to be "okay" with this aspect.  I've always prided myself on motivation from within but the truth is it's just not there right now.

Several of my dance pals are already enrolled in this program and it was hard to ignore their rave reviews.  I'm starting with something called Foundations.  Just learning the basic moves.  I'm working with Ashely and she is all about form.  I love that.  

There is so much variation.  One activity is hitting a tire with a sledgehammer.  I can't wait for that.  In the meantime, it's all about squats.  

There's nothing too bad-ass about the video below but visuals are good, so here you go. 

Note my socks.  You're supposed to be on your heels for squats.  Sneakers don't help with that.  I'll be busting out the Vibrams next time.

In 2008 one of my New Year's Resolutions was to do a pull-up.  Never got there.  I think I will.  Curious how or if this will affect my dancing.  There's a gymnastics aspect that might help with aerials.

CrossFit Durham is located in the Trotter Building in downtown Durham.  This is also the same building where I take a dance class on Wednesday nights and social dance on Thursday nights (Hot Club).  So, it might be a home away from home.  Heck, that's better than a Hyatt in Ohio.

I did a morning workout and evening dance class the same day this week.  The term "squat" was used several times during both occasions.  I might reach a max on the number of times I can respond to that word in the Trotter building.  Incidentally, I also had my UNC class that same day.  My brain and body were good and tired at the end of that day.

Excited about this venture.

Bouncing Balboa Baby

Baby likes to bounce
Balboa involves a bounce (pulse)
Jamie likes to Balboa
Baby likes Jamie

Baby's parents are in a Bluegrass Band.
Nature (Bluegrass) or Nurture (Swing)?


I might just have a maternal bone in my body.

This week I learned Anthropologie has a wedding dress line. I'm amused that's what made me think "Hmmm, I could get married."

My apologies for doing Balboa to "Lindy Hopper's Delight." If you're going to start them young, start them right.

Glimpses

I know you can't really understand what it means to be a parent until you are one. This read, however, quite a glimpse.


Most of the "physical drama" is that of the son. Even when the father suffers a cerebral hemorrhage his thoughts focus on his son's whereabouts.

Reading about brain bleeds makes me a little anxious. One passage brought me relief and concern.

"In the immediate aftermath of my brain hemorrhage, I complained that I had missed out on what I imagined might be a benefit of surviving a near death experience - that is, beyond the ultimate perk: still being alive. That said, I have often heard and read survivor's describe the epiphanies that came from tragedy. Their lives transformed, became simpler, with clearer priorities."

No such epiphany following my hemorrhage. I don't ever think I felt near death. Mostly, there was uncertainty. Near death or not - a brain bleed is serious stuff and I wondered if my life would change in the aftermath of the event. It didn't and this has always had me wondering (and concerned) about my ability to reflect and change. On the other hand, radical life changes in the aftermath of "trauma" also seemed like a bit of a cliche or a merchandising of the experience.

"I was judging too early. Thing have shifted since then. Just as there are stages of grieving or dying , there must be stages after a trauma because the lessons of the neuro ICU sank in over time."

It's been a year and a half since my "trauma." My life is alarmingly similar. Does that indicate lack of transformation? Not necessarily. There are surface details and then there's gradual processing and related action. I haven't entirely realized (or even formed, for that matter) a new vision yet I do question that one I've held. I question why I haven't accomplished it and then wonder if it's the right path at all. A world of contradictions?


"If only life were easier. It isn't - nor is that my goal any longer. Once I desperately wanted things to be simpler, but my worldview was broken over the course of Nic's addiction and my stay in the ICU. From them, I learned another lesson: that I can accept - in fact am relieved to accept - a world of contradictions, wherein everything is gray and almost nothing is black and white. There is much good, but to enjoy the beauty, the love, one must bear the painful."

Some of the more random things I get paid to do

I've had plenty of moments at work where I've marveled at the randomness and goofiness of what I'm paid to do.  In the earlier part of the year the spokesperson (SP) for the account I work on was asked to do be present at kickoff meetings in a few different regions. 

My job?  Hang out with him.  I was some combination of being present to represent the agency other part being his handler.  His appearances were all surprises and so he needed to lay low prior to the events.  This individual is not a sit in his hotel room and chill kind of guy so in every market we set out to explore.

In Nashville we enjoyed a visit to The Hatch - a classic printing press shop I had actually used for an ad job.  They actually remembered that job.  I wondered how annoying we were.  Turns out it was just very high volume for them relative to other jobs at the time.

We had lunch at Sam's - a classic Nashville BBQ establishment and then took a tour of the Ryman.  Even though said spokesperson was in a baseball cap and not looking much like his character the woman who took his ticket recognized him and exclaimed in a delightful southern accent "You're that guy on TV!"  Another woman in the tour group also figured it out.  Her husband had no clue and commented "I feel like Elvis is standing in front of me and I don't know it."  Instead of paying attention to the tour guide, he looked up the spots on You Tube.

In NC, we passed a billboard featuring SP.  We were headed to the airport and he was texting his wife.  He took a quick look up and returned to his phone.  SP has a great sense of humor and humility so I made a funny remark about his indifference at his larger than life image.

One of the appearances was at a resort outside of Atlanta.  We contemplated horseback riding or a boat ride.  Somehow Scrabble came into the conversation and I mentioned my mad skillz.  So, on a beautiful day in a summer camp like setting we sat inside playing Scrabble.  It actually turned out to be a little bit more of a tutorial.  SP has fantastic improv & acting skills but Scrabble - not so much.  Here we are, posing as if we're in the midst of an intense play.

SP has three children.  My dad traveled a lot and I am familiar with the traveling parent needing to bring something back to the kids upon returning home.  SP's kids had some unusual requests (a doll that looks like a grownup and talks) and it was like a scavenger hunt trying to find this item (and others) during the trips.  We never located the requested items but based on what was purchased, I think SP was going to be let back in the house upon his return.

Pre Rolf

Rolfer: So, what's hurting?
Jamie: Have you heard of CrossFit? Well, I've been watching some videos and...
Rolfer laughs
Jamie: What's so funny?
Rolfer:You're in pain just watching the videos?
Jamie: (laughing too)I've been watching some videos and practicing the moves. Ahem.

Um, thd song goes "If you go to San Francisco" (not Orange County) then you wear flowers in your hair

Unless it's National Flower In Your Hair Month or you're Adam.
What has California done to this boy?

I was definitely at the right Super Bowl party tonight

Chit-chat during game.
Hushed during commercials.
Dead quiet during Glee.
I was definitely at the right Super Bowl party tonight.

There was some sort of pool where you wrote your name in any old box (the corresponding football scores would be determined after you placed your bet). I put my name in a box with a chili stain. I won $5.

Right party, for sure.

I rooted for the Steelers. Only because NW is a proud sponsor of the Steelers and I've met Hines Ward.

Usually I take bath products from my hotel room. But here, the key card sleeve.

I did the Charleston in Charleston

And it thrilled me to no end. The little things. Totally.

I got a little decked out (I wore the super-high waisted pants with lots o buttons). The other scapers took a lot of pictures I felt like I was off to the prom.

Also, at some point during the birthday-scape weekend I popped into the Atlantic Ocean. It was cold. But thrilling as well. When I see a body of water, I generally want to get in it.

Swiss Miss Miss

I don't drink coffee.

But I love hot chocolate. Whipped cream with that? Um, yeah.

So, when I saw the Swiss Miss blue box on the kitchen counter I was delighted.

Only to discover it was a box of tampons.

The box was on the kitchen counter. Mixed in with foodstuffs.
This was a very reasonable mistake.

I hope the picture (and why it's funny and why I'm clever for setting it up) speaks for itself.

 

It takes one narcissist to know one. 

Birthdayscape 2011: Wiccans

By Friday night, 13 'Scapers have arrived and we're out to dinner.  At one point, someone (the waiter, another patron?) asks us if we're Wiccans.  Not sure what to make of this and as soon as we arrive back at the mansion I'm online trying to figure it out.  We conclude the comment stemmed from the number of folks in our party, 13 and if we're witches than we're no longer a "party of 13" - we're a Coven.

With that, the jacuzzi is our cauldron and the mansion is our haunted house.   

Birthdayscape 2011: Drive Down & The Mansion

Pal Ellen knows how to celebrate her birthday.
Invite female friends from "past and present lives" to a warm location in late Jan/Early February.
Rinse, wash, repeat and you've got "Birth-day-scape."

This year we 'scaped in Charleston, South Carolina.

Highlights

The Drive Down

Of course I get hungry when I stop seeing places to eat right off the highway. I got off at an exit with a sign that said "FOOD" with no indication of how far away or what direction. Three miles later I find a pizza place. That is out of pizza. Fortunately I find this more entertaining than annoying. I didn't get a slice of pizza but I got a slice of life.

Another sign I saw en route back to the highway.


Our Digs: The Cocaine Mansion

This is the vacation to the Hamptons I never took. View of house from beach





View of beach (and pool, and hot-tub) from house



As for the interior, let's just say the place had an elevator. Because it did.

Smart Phones & Cigarettes

That's just not a very good tag line.

I've made good on one of my New Year's Resolutions and enrolled in a class at UNC.  Philosophy of Religion.

It's me and a bunch of undergraduates.  When I arrived at the first class I think they thought I was the Professor and I was so tempted to see if I could run with it.  At times, I'm blown away by the sophistication of the students.  At other times I find their mindset maddening.  I wonder what a thirty-something would have made of my college classes.

Anyway, we've been talking about arguments for the existence of God.  Cosmological arguments specifically.  My favorite argument belongs to Bertrand Russell - "The universe is just there and that's all."

We were discussing problems or shortcomings of other arguments.  I started thinking about missionaries, spreading the word and showing/sharing God's love, passing it onto your children/next generation  -- you know, those who want to bring others (skeptics, non-believers, whomever) into the fold.

Then I thought about my own reaction to the arguments and my reaction was "I just don't buy it."  The minute the word "buy" entered my mind I started thinking about advertising.

So when the question of issues with the arguments came up I raised my hand and said something alone the lines of  "That's just not a very good tag-line."

I wonder if the students found me maddening.

He-He!  Stupid comments from me in class aside, I'm loving it.  I love just walking on the college campus.  For one thing, drivers are so respectful of pedestrians.  The real highlight so far is really the enrichment & stimulation.  And challenge.  I've never taken a Philo or Religion class and the readings are not anything like my usual literature.  Lastly, I'm getting a Philosophy tool-kit  (learning more about logic, constructing arguments) that will make me more convincing (or annoying) in day to day discussions.

To sleep, perchance to dream sauce.

I've visited Balboa Island.

Today, it was time to learn Balboa during a "Cram Session" at Triangle Dance Studio.  Site of my very first Lindy 101 class in the Triangle.  Yes, I took Lindy 101 a few times.  I'm a little remedial.

After two hours of quick, quick, slow (with a pulse) I was hungry.  Fortunately, Cheerz Deli was right around the corner.

I was craving a roast beef sandwich that Adam (now a vegetarian) used to order but I couldn't remember the ingredients.

So, I opted for the "workout chicken" sandwich which I took to be a healthier option but healthy or not the sandwich was so large that a 1/2 order (what I ordered) looked just like a full order.  Perhaps the sandwich was like a starfish that just grows to two full size starfish should you cut it in half.

I was also a little underwhelmed by mustard so I asked the Deli Guy for something with a little more zing.  To this request, he offered me "Dream Sauce."  I was so entertained by the name I said "Sure!" not really knowing what was in it.  Turned out there was some garlic (sorry leads).  And, Saturday night didn't offer much opportunity for sleep (or, perchance, to dream).

Lunch was followed by one more session.  I participated but after that my brain was full (not bleeding, just full) so I left.

I went to a craft store to buy suede for my dance shoes.  I felt as uncomfortable as some men get in Victoria's Secret among all the ingredients for dust collecting knick-knacks.

Night

Balboa on Balboa

If you're looking for the entry about the awesomeness of Todd Seavey click here.
If you're wondering why anyone would visit this blog to read about Seavey click here or see below.  

Todd is doing a round up of C-SPAN2 links.  He refers to me as a hot chick (one of many, though).  I'm certainly more attractive than Helen.

Jamie Foehl -- another one of the many hot chicks some of my detractors think I couldn't possibly date yet did -- was nice enough to praise me on her blog after the craziness began.  Ironically, she now dwells in the same yuppie and Northeastern-feeling area of North Carolina whence hails my co-panelist, despite my co-panelist's frequent attempts to blame her own eccentricities on an alien, rural, old-fashioned, backwoods way of life we city folk don't appreciate, at least while sober. 

If you want to learn more about alien, rural, old-fashioned and backwoods way of life in the yuppie and Northeastern-feeling area of North Carolina just scroll down and keep reading. 

It was so much fun.

Colin asks "Who'd have thought that running around in the middle of the night on the snow and ice with laser tag guns would be so much fun?"  

Colin replies "Oh wait, I would have.  And so would Kristy Milliken and Jamie Foehl."

I need to work on being more stealth.  And not breaking out into hysterical laughter when someone shoots and hits me.

Ice Scraper in North Carolina

Sorry David. I think it's one of your mixes.

A very funny gift

From Diane to Bengt (who is from Alaska).

Quadrantids

On January 3rd, sometime late afternoon, Colin posted a link on FB about the Quadrantids with the comment "Might just have to stay up." The thread that followed made it apparent that a few of us actually really did want to stay up and watch this.

We decided to meet at midnight at the Scott King Trailhead of the American Tobacco Trail. I had JUST gotten back into some sort of normal post Lindy Focus sleep cycle but happily threw it off the sleep cycle and threw on as many warm clothes as I could find.

Note the triple hoodies


Joe, Bengt & I arrived on time. Kristy moments later (with Snicker-doodles!). Colin, my sort of co-ring leader had yet to arrive. We decided to just plop a blanket down in between cars and begin star-gazing. I joked that Colin might think the space in between the cars was a parking space and in the process of parallel parking run us over. I thought it was funny but Joe (closest to the road) was less amused.

Colin arrived with hot chocolate and the entertaining saga of how they were obtained. He went to two places that didn't serve hot chocolate. The third venue (Waffle House?) had hot chocolate. Colin made the mistake of paying one of the staff with a cool (already folded) origami dollar. Another staff member wanted one too and Colin had no option but to oblige and fold one even though he was running late.

We ventured down the trail a teeny tiny bit and set up blankets on the ground and covering us. We were a little short on the blanket cover. I recommended spooning but the idea didn't catch on. So there were are, five of us, snuggled up together in some random spot in the "woods" of Durham. We had some chill Pandora station playing and Colin(?) mentioned we probably looked like we could be in the opening scene is garden state. None of the guys were thrilled about being Zach Braff but I was totally OK playing the role of Natalie Portman.

It got really cold (outside temps were somewhere around 25 degrees and falling) and body heat and blankets and hot chocolate wasn't going to cut it (especially for those of us on the endcaps of the people sandwich).

So, we danced. Lindy, Tranky-Doo and then I made up my own moves for Heat Miser. Here's the sound of Colin & Joe doing the Tranky-Doo.


Oh yeah, and we saw some cool stuff in the sky too. Colin and Kristy (who share a "I'll sleep when I'm dead philosophy") made it to 3am and got an extra spectacular show. For me, getting enough sleep to function on Tuesday was spectacular enough.

When I got home, I deemed our little group "The Freezing Cold Club of Durham" (based on many of us being participants in "Hot Club of Durham" weekly dance.

It was fun. To me, it felt a bit like camp. Though NH never got this cold in the summer.

Here are some "morning after" comments from pals confirming the awesomeness of the experience.

Hair-do-do-do

I got my hair cut over the holidays. A lot of it. Little more than I expected actually. My hair was at that "wear it in a ponytail everyday phase" and I was thinking something shorter I could tuck behind my ears. There are certain words the stylist and I discussed avoiding such as bob, bangs and pixie cut. After the consultation I closed my eyes and let her do her thing.

I was a little shocked at how much was gone when it was over. I felt a little bit like some of my femininity was being swept off the salon floor.

Here's a shot of me fresh off the chopping block.There's also the concern that it's never going to look as good as it does on the day the stylist cuts, dries and styles it.

Here's the other thing. It's the week before Christmas. I'm on PTO and most of my friends are either working or away. So, I have no reactions to help me assess the new-do. In fact, I got a little caught off guard each time I passed a mirror. Like "Ack! That's me." Not the "Er, who is that?" look on in the following shot.
I realize that I'm not going myself any favors by wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Some earrings, makeup and a shirt with a nice neckline might enhance the look but I'm in lazy, home, reading, decompressing mode.

The first shower was disorienting. As my fingers worked their way down my locks and the hair ran out I was shocked to feel my neck. I felt a bit like an amputee and kept touching my neck in case I was just dreaming.

I meet up with a pal briefly and wore my ski hat the whole time. My next stop was Barb's.

Now, here's the great thing about Barb. She always wears hats inside. It's like her look. So, I felt perfectly normal with my hat on over dinner. But then I get hot and decided it was time. Barb's reaction was comforting. She thought it looked OK, but understood that it wasn't exactly what I wanted.

Incidentally, I left my scarf at Barb's. I never realized that the hair on my head and down my neck actually did keep me warm.

I had a haircut similar to this one growing up (pre-boobs, makeup, etc) and was frequently mistaken for a boy. My name being Jamie didn't help. I think those memories played into my reaction. Then I remembered that I was signed up as a lead for Lindy Focus (dance camp in Asheville). I briefly considered embracing the new look, getting a flat cap, suspenders and just rolling with it.

Instead, I ended up buying the following vintage-like ladies hat at Target.

My plan was to wear it all week though on some level I knew that was going to make me look stupider than I thought my hair might.

I was joking about using some guy pomade and doing crazy things with my hair but actually discovered that a little bit of product helped the "Do" keep shape. And blow-drying was essential. Way more maintenance than I wanted. Sigh.

The hat eventually came off. Shortly thereafter I found flower hair clips which are very popular on the swing dance floor. These might not work in the real world but fit right in for Lindy Focus.

By New Year's Even I was embracing it and opted to get my hair "done." Finger curls with sparkly clips. I almost felt authentic.


Lindy Focus came to a close so I've been using earrings & mascara as "accents" to my hair. People are work (the ones who know who I am) seem to like it. I'm getting used to it.

I mean, it is what it is and it will grow back. It's just hair.